


Baby Girl Dunne

by evywithay



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F, Grief, baby dunne, berena - Freeform, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 12:52:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evywithay/pseuds/evywithay
Summary: Bernie's new granddaughter arrives in a flurry of joy and the August heat. Everyone wishes the new Grandmothers congratulations but Serena can't help but feeling that she doesn't quite belong...Bernie and Serena and a tiny baby!





	

On the 11th of August, in the middle of a heatwave so hot the hospitals were busier than usual, a baby girl was born in London at exactly 3.00AM. She had a full head of jet black hair and rosy red cheeks and was the model of her Father.  
The weekend after her birth was spent surrounded by visitors who fussed and fawned and brought enough presents to fill her pink nursery waiting for her at home. On Sunday evening visitors were dwindling, her Grandmothers kissed her on the cheek and left, getting on a train back to Holby.

 

On the 14th of August the hospital was busy and extremely hot. There was a cheery air nonetheless and by all accounts the ward was running like the well oiled machine it was. 

At 8AM, Serena arrived in to work to start her shift. She grabbed a coffee and a sneaky Danish pastry for her breakfast and walked slowly and happily towards AAU. She had had a good weekend, the best weekend and she was thinking about it when she bumped in to Fletch, little Ella by his side, all dressed up in her brand new school uniform. She gave the tiny girl a smile. She had a soft spot for the Fletchings though she would tell no-one.

"G'morning boss." Fletch himself chirped.

Maybe she had a soft spot for their Father too.

"Good Morning Fletch." She said with a smile.  
Fletch smiled too before suddenly having a thought.  
"Oh here." He reached in to his scrubs pocket and brought out a pink envelope. He handed it to her with a wide grin. "Congratulations!"

Serena frowned but took the envelope. The swirly writing on the front was undoubtedly Evie's and it read, 'Serena and Bernie'. 

"Evie's idea, wasn't it." He looked to his youngest daughter and ruffled her hair so she giggled at her silly Daddy. "They all wanted to sign it."

Serena blinked at it, wondering what on earth it could be, had she missed a birthday? That couldn't be it. Was it their anniversary? Did they even have an anniversary? 

"I'm just going to take Ella across to school." Fletch said before she could ask. "Won't be a sec."

Serena nodded and the Father/Daughter pair disappeared out of the ward. She continued to stare at the card as she made her way to her office. Bernie was only on a four hour shift as she was most Mondays so nobody had yet warmed up the office. She swung open the door and straight away stopped in the threshold. 

The biggest bunch of flowers had been left on the join of the two desks. She was definitely missing something. She glanced back out to the ward, nothing out of the ordinary. 

Raf was bent over a file at the nurses station and Doctors Digby and Burrows were sipping coffee and getting ready to start their rounds. It was already busy but it was nothing that they couldn't handle. She stepped in to the office and quickly hung up her light jacket and dropped her bag and briefcase down under the desk. 

The flowers smelt divine and the summer colours of pink and yellow made her smile. She pulled out the small white card and read the message: 

'Congratulations! Ms Wolfe and Ms Campbell, love from all on AAU x'

With a frown she propped the card up against the flowers and sat down at her desk, pressing her computer on. She pulled over the pink envelope with the swirly writing and after a sip of her cooling coffee, opened it carefully.

The card inside matched the baby pink of the envelope. It was decorated with glitter and looping writing. A white, 'congratulations!' was dashed across the top of the card and in the centre a cuddly pink teddy bear holding a rattle. She smiled despite her confusion and carefully traced the teddies outline. She opened the card and sure enough the oldest Fletcher child's writing continued.

To Serena and Bernie  
Congratulations on the birth of your Granddaughter!  
You'll both be the best Grandmothers ever!  
Love, Adrian (Dad) Evie, Mickey, Ella and Theo xxxxx 

The five neat kisses made Serena's heart soar but the rest of it made her sink ever so slightly. She stood the card up in front of her and for a millisecond it looked right. She blinked and plucked it back up and leaned over, standing it on Bernie's desk.

Bernie was a Grandmother now. A good Grandmother who was already in love with her perfect, tiny, Granddaughter. She smiled despite herself. It was true that Bernie had fallen in love with Cameron's brand new daughter as soon as she held her but it was also true for her too. The little girl that as of yet had no name was placed in to her arms and after a couple of minutes she was loathe to let her go. Victoria had gone in to labour early Thursday morning and they had boarded a train headed to London straight after their shift making it on time for Baby Girl Dunne's appearance early Friday morning. They had been stock piling gifts here and there for nine months but were still surprised at the sheer amount they had had to find space to pack. The weekend had been a whir of excitement and joy and pride. Victoria had powered through the labour and Cameron hadn't been a total mess. Marcus had appeared on two days and Charlotte came in Saturday afternoon in a quiet flurry of excitement and balloons.

She looked to the card with the teddy and with a sigh pulled it back over to her desk. She opened it again and re-read the message.  
'You'll both be the best Grandmothers ever!'

Except she wasn't a Grandmother. Bernie was. She would never be a Grandmother, would never have her own Grandchildren. Could barely even remember what it felt like to be a Mother. 

She slid the card back over to Bernie's desk as tears pricked the back of her eyes. She stood up, picking up her coffee, nails scrapping the corrugated cardboard, fingertips taking a sting of burn from the coffee inside. 

She couldn't be in the office anymore. Around memories that weren't hers and could never be hers. She had spent many many horrible nights grieving for a future that she could have had, a future of babysitting duties, a pregnant Elinor glowing and excited for a child. But Ellie hadn't made it much past childhood herself.

The office door slammed shut behind her, the bang alerting those closet, though drowned out considerably by the red phone ringing in the shrill way that it always did.

By the time Serena was out of surgery it was after lunch time and she could feel her stomach rumbling. She quickly scrubbed out and made her way to the locker room to change. In her haste to don her scrubs she had shoved her phone under her shirt to avoid running back up to the office which she had had no time for. When she was done changing out of her scrubs she poked the device on. It illuminated quickly to show her 4 new texts. She grabbed the phone and pushed her locker shut. As she started to make her way back to AAU she read through them. Two from Bernie, she was on her way in but she had a consult straight away so wouldn't be on AAU for half an hour at least, the next one asking her where the sugar was kept. Living together for 4 years and she still didn't know where anything was.

She huffed out a laugh and opened the next text. A message and a picture attached. 

'A picture for the Grandparents, finally heading home, wish us luck xx' 

A group text, included were Victoria's parents, two very nice religious people who were surprised when her and Bernie turned up to Cam and Victoria's engagement party holding hands. They were alright after a minute or two and since then they had had no trouble with them. Marcus was added (not his much younger girlfriend she noticed) Bernie, of course, and her. She wondered why she was added. Surely she was just the same as Marcus's girlfriend? Was she not Bernie's girlfriend? Isn't that the same?

She opened the picture as she stood in the queue at Pulses to grab a sandwich before an afternoon spent with a pen in her hand filling out endless paperwork (from her desk but probably from Bernie's desk too). Baby Girl Dunne, as they had to call her (apparently 9 months wasn't long enough to pick out a name) was snuggled in her car seat all ready to go outside for the first time. She had on a short sleeved vest spotted with little yellow giraffes and a pair of white socks that were far too big on her. Her tiny hat matched the vest and Serena felt a rush of love towards the dot she most certainly had fallen in love with at first sight. She smiled and typed out a message.

'A beautiful girl needs a beautiful name'.

She quickly saved the photo and locked the phone, grasping it with her purse as she stepped up to order.

 

Lunch had gone over too quickly and it seemed that every time she came back to her office every time she had left it that afternoon more flowers and cards had arrived. She kept them contained to the very back of the two desks letting them slip over to Bernie's side as Bernie would likely not use her desk much. When did she ever?  
Bernie text her that she would be late as she had indeed found the sugar but had also managed to spill it all over the kitchen then set the fire alarm off. Serena didn't ask and Bernie didn't tell (she had learnt from previous situations just to clean up and keep quiet). 

She was in the middle of filling in a risk assessment for a coming surgery when Jasmine slipped into the office. Serena clocked her before the girl's usual nervous throat clearing. She held up a finger as she completed her sentence. 

"Problem, Dr Burrows?" She said, kindly, looking up.  
Jasmine shook her head with a smile and Serena found herself smiling back. She had always liked the Doctor and was glad that whatever had happened between them in the past had now been resolved. They weren't quite friends, not like Morven was with her and Bernie but she liked the girl alright.

"No problem, Ms Campbell." She said, bouncing on her toes like an excited child. "I just thought, while it was relatively quiet out there that I would come and give you this."

She conjured a gift bag from behind her back that Serena hadn't even noticed and stretched out her arm. Serena put down her pen and took the bag.

"What's this?" She asked, eyebrow raised.  
Jasmine shrugged, her arms going behind her back, suddenly shy.  
"Something for the baby." She said. "And a card."

Serena pushed her chair back and stood in order to see into the bag. She pulled out a pastel pink teddy bear, it was soft and plush with a hard black nose and stitched on eyes. She stroked a thumb over its head and hummed a smile.

"What a nice gift, Jasmine, she'll love it I'm sure, thank you." 

Jasmine positively beamed at the praise. Serena took out the card that read, 'Cameron and Victoria' then another one.

"For you." Jasmine said before she could ask.  
She looked at the front and recognised the young woman's messy scrawl, 'Ms Wolfe, Ms Campbell.' She laughed slightly.

"I think on cards our first names can be used." She said with a tiny smile up to the girl.

Dr Burrows flushed red. Serena dropped the card on to Bernie's desk and placed Cameron's card back in to the bag. Her phone buzzed against the desk and she suddenly remembered the picture she had saved. She plucked it up.

"Would you like to see a picture?" She asked. "She's absolutely tiny, a little darling."

She found the picture and after smiling down at it herself, passed the phone to the young Doctor. She felt a pang of pride as Jasmine recycled what she had just said. Confirming what Serena already knew. 

"Showing her around?" The door to the office had opened and a new voice sounded. "The doting Grandmother already."

Both women looked to the intruder, Jasmine recovering first, handing back the phone to Serena.

"Congratulations Ms Wolfe, she's so cute!" She said, skipping out of the office.  
"Thank you Dr Burrows." 

Bernie Wolfe didn't beam, ever, but one couldn't be blamed for thinking she was glowing with happiness right there. Serena looked down at the picture and couldn't help but want to show the entire ward. She looked to the flowers and the cards, all congratulating her and Bernie on their granddaughter. And Bernie just then, 'The doting Grandmother already.' 

She didn't know what it felt like to be a doting Grandmother but she suspected that what she was feeling right now, what Bernie was feeling, was it.

But she wasn't a Grandmother. Not really. And she found that she wanted nothing more than to be this tiny girls Grandmother. To be called Granny, or Grandma. But she didn't have that right. She wasn't a part of that family, not really. She wasn't blood. She had Jason and she had no doubt that one day he would be married but he wouldn't have children, could never look after children.  
She had somehow found herself, her and Jason, had found themselves entwined with Bernie's family. Had lost herself within the fold. The drama of Bernie and her children had long since become her drama. She had found a new family. 

She was vaguely aware that Bernie was talking to her but she wasn't listening. Phone still in her hand, she was scrolling furiously trying to find a photo. She passed photos of Bernie, her smile bright as she tanned herself on the beach on their last holiday. Photos of the two of them. Photos of Jason, lots of them. Photos of Cameron and Victoria and Charlotte at various occasions. Until finally she reached a picture of Elinor. Her very own flesh and blood. All long dirty blonde hair and big brown eyes and naughty smirk. Her family in one picture.

She felt a lurch in her stomach. A sickness she hadn't felt in a long time. A wave of grief that never really went away. 

She wasn't apart of Bernie's family, not really, she wasn't a Grandmother, not really.

She didn't realise she had started crying until Bernie's confused call of her name made her look up.

"Serena, what's wrong?" 

The brightness had gone away and instead a deep frown had appeared over the blonde's forehead. She brought a hand up to her wet cheeks and let her fingers gather the tears. She dropped the phone onto her desk and looked over to the gifts and cards and flowers which seemed to be getting more and more every second.

"I...opened some of the cards..."  
Bernie followed her gaze to the pile of stuff. She plucked up the card nearest to her, from Fletch.

"I didn't know you could get cards for Grandparents." She smiled at the card. "Shall we get one for Cam and Victoria? I know we got them presents but I didn't really think of a card..."

"I have one, at home, I just haven't filled it out, I was waiting for a name."

Bernie breathed out a laugh.

"We could be waiting a long time, poor kid." She said, she was watching Serena closely aware that she wasn't okay, waiting for something to happen.

"Morven got us a bottle of wine each. Red for me, Shiraz, and white for you." Serena said, her voice unnervingly steady.

Bernie looked to the two wine bottles standing between bunches of flowers. There was an envelope standing against the Shiraz. She pulled it out and read their names.

"You didn't open the card." She said.  
"It's your card."

Bernie glanced at her feeling sure that Serena had seen her name right there next to her own, just as they all did. She ripped open the envelope.

To Serena and Bernie  
Congratulations!  
On the birth of your new granddaughter!  
Love Morven x 

Serena watched Bernie scan the card and prop it up.

"Sweet." She murmured fondly.  
"And Jasmine's." Serena motioned to the card she had put on her desk just moments before. Her voice was beginning to shake now. And Bernie noticed. She kept an eye on her as she picked Jasmine's card up and opened it.

Ms Wolfe, Ms Campbell  
Congratulations!  
That little girl will have the best Grandmother's!  
Love from, Jasmine x 

She read this one out loud and watched Serena flinch at the message. She put it down.

"And that one." Serena said again, pointing to another one that looked to belong to a bunch of flowers. 

Bernie didn't reach for the card and Serena frowned deeply because of it.

The office was silent for a long couple of seconds when Serena dropped her head, studying her dark phone.

"What's going on Serena?" She asked, voice lower than she intended.

Serena looked up, fresh tears springing up from nowhere. She clenched her jaw and tried to avoid eye contact with her partner.

"Serena?" Her voice was softer this time and apparently this was all it took for the surgeon to crack.

"All of this, all of the cards and the flowers and the picture." She said gesturing around the office desperately, sadly, frustrated with it all, frustrated at herself.

Bernie looked to the pile of things and then back to Serena, she was at a loss and Serena let out a sharp sigh.

"Congratulations on your Granddaughter." She said almost frantically. "Congratulations! Congratulations! Everywhere!"

Bernie blinked. She looked again to the pile and in the tiniest voice spoke.

"Congratulations...for our Granddaughter." She said, confused.

Serena shook her head, shook her head until her tears started a fresh and once again trailed down her cheeks.  
"Your Granddaughter, Bernie, she's not mine, she's yours." She said.  
"You're my partner, we're a team, she's our Granddaughter, Serena."  
"Sometimes I forget." Serena said, tiny and strained. "That no matter how hard I wish it, no matter how accepted I feel, that I'm not really a part of your family. I think I just latched on, to you and Cameron and Charlotte. When Elinor died I..."

She stopped, struggled to find the next few words, struggled to breathe.

"Serena."  
"I...I miss her, every day, but you make it better, as much as it can be better. I want so much to be that baby girls Grandmother, I already love her like a Grandmother would but what right do I have? What right do I have to latch on to her? To love her this fiercely? To be on all these cards?"

Bernie crossed the office in under a second.

"That little girl is as much your Granddaughter as she is mine." She said, reaching out to touch the woman, to comfort her.  
Serena took a step backwards.

"I love you, so much, darling, I do but I'm afraid I've pushed my way in, she isn't mine, I will never ever be Grandma, Granny, Gran...nothing. I lost sight of that, I tried to get over my grief, over Ellie by finding myself a brand new family."  
"No. Serena..."

She gave a sob and brought a hand to her mouth. Bernie just stared looking vaguely distraught. A knock on the office door made Bernie turn. It was Raf.

"I need one of you for a second---"

He stopped when he saw Serena, furiously swiping away tears. He looked to Bernie who looked just as upset.

"I'll erm...come back?" He said, already backing out.  
"No...no." Serena managed to even out her voice. "Ms Wolfe will go, won't you Bernie?"

Bernie spun around to her, the frown never having left her face.  
"Give us a second, Raf." She said.  
"Bernie just go, okay, please, just go." A tear tracked her face and Bernie just blinked. 

She felt dumb and confused, and upset and like she may cry at any moment. But she nodded because she knew that Serena needed to calm down. She always did. And then she would talk to her. So she reached out a hand to her partners cheek and caught a salty tear on the pad of her thumb. She cupped her cheek, Serena closing her eyes at the touch, turning her head to kiss the palm of Bernie slightly rough hand. 

"Go on." She whispered.  
Bernie reluctantly dropped her hand and left the office, still in her civvies. When the office door banged closed and all was silent Serena broke down. 

A new wave of grief for her long dead daughter hitting her like a freight train.

 

Bernie ended up going in to theatre when the patient she was having a quick look at went in to cardiac arrest. She had no time to check in on Serena so half way through the surgery, that ended up being quite lengthy, she had sent Morven to go up and look in on her. Morven hadn't returned so as soon as she had finished saving the guys life she had instructed Raf to close up and had gotten back up to AAU as quickly as she could.

She pushed open the office door but all she found was two more bunches of flowers and no Serena. She backed out of the room and returned to the ward, tracking Morven quickly. She slid up next to her as the girl checked a board on the bottom of a patients bed.

"Ms Campbell?" She said, voice low, making Morven jump.  
"Ms Wolfe, I got completely sidetracked, she's outside, she needed some air she said."

Bernie nodded and gave the girl a pat on the shoulder. She was about to head out after Serena when her phone vibrated in her scrubs pocket. She pulled it out.

'Cameron calling...'

 

On the 14th of August at 5:06PM, Baby Girl Dunne finally got a name. The day was finally cooling down and Bernie had finally made it to Serena.

On the fire escape the vascular surgeon sat alone, eyes closed, letting the gentle breeze cool her down. Bernie pushed open the door gently and stopped in her tracks as she saw her partner. Sometimes she had to catch her breath at how truly beautiful Serena was. She was unashamedly staring as Serena opened her eyes and turned to catch her.

"Hey." She said after a second.  
"Hey."

Serena shuffled over on the metal steps she had taken to, she patted the empty spot next to her and Bernie walked over quickly, dropping down beside her.

"How was surgery?" Serena asked, a picture of sad serenity.

Bernie smiled and slid her hand over Serena's lap, threading their fingers together.

"He'll live." She said.  
"Good."

Bernie nodded and gave Serena's hand a squeeze.  
"Alright?" She asked finally.  
"Yes."

She pulled on the brunette's hand a little and Serena moved closer.

"You and Jason complete my family, Serena. And so did Ellie. That little girl is lucky to have you as a Grandmother." 

"Really?" It was muttered, sounded more like a rhetorical question but Bernie knew she needed it answered.

"Cameron thought that maybe Lily could call you Granny, you know, when she can talk, he thinks you suit it." She said.

Serena laughed a little before stopping and frowning and turning to properly face her partner.  
"Lily?" She asked, eyes widening.

Bernie, unable to hide her grin, nodded, grinning even wider when Serena's own smile appeared again.

"A beautiful girl needs a beautiful name you said and they agreed." She said, pressing a kiss to the side of Serena's head. "Lily means beautiful."

"It's perfect." Serena breathed. "Lily."  
"Cam wanted you to know that you're very much part of our family." Bernie said. "You know him and Charlotte are very much in agreement that you brought our little Wolfe pack back together."

Serena laughed but blushed, looking away.

"And Victoria was very insistent that you know that she picked Lily's first name but Cameron picked her middle name."

Serena frowned, turning back, tracing a circle on the back of Bernie's hand with her thumb lazily.

"What is it?"  
"Our Granddaughter, Lily Elinor Dunne, has finally got a name at 3 days old."  
"Elinor." Serena breathed, tearing up again.  
Bernie nodded.  
"About bloody time." She said, clutching Serena's hand tightly. "About. Time."

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea of Berena being grandparents so this came out of nowhere (I know we all love Morven and Cameron together, me included, but that's for another fic ;))


End file.
